Is Nothing Sacred?

This is what I get for listening to too much NPR: Today I heard a report about how a bunch of Brooklyn “artists” have launched a contest to reinvent the Mr. Softee jingle. Now I know that jingle can be crazy-making when a truck is parked outside your window, but I mean, really, do we have to reinvent everything that happened before 1985?

Naturally I had to go and listen to them all. And I must say, “Ice Cream Balinese” is rather pleasant. “Happy Kone” made me go into a nice little trance. Didn’t say “yummy sticky ice cream,” though.

As for the rest: Do we really need a beatbox version of this jingle—or a beatbox version of anything at all? Or an ambient version with a vocal that sounds like Bjork on smack? Or—my ears!—a guitar-wailing rock version? If any of these end up out there on a constant loop, I’m sure the murder rate will rise.

Except, hmmm. When I think about it, that might be exactly what this city needs right now.

photo courtesy of gothamgazette.com.